World Peace Declared After BDSM Ban

Jun 6, 2023, 3:24 PM

World Peace Declared After BDSM Ban

In a stunning turn of events, world peace was declared after the global banning of BDSM. The once taboo practice of bondage and submission has long been debated as a form of empowered sexuality or an outlet for abusive behavior. However, a recent international agreement to prohibit BDSM has led to unprecedented levels of harmony and cooperation among nations.

One outspoken advocate of the BDSM ban is renowned feminist and activist Gloria Steinem. "BDSM is a patriarchal institution that perpetuates harmful power dynamics and normalizes violence. It's time for us to move past this and embrace true equality and respect in all of our relationships," Steinem declared at a press conference.

Others, such as former BDSM enthusiasts and survivors of abusive relationships, have expressed relief and gratitude for the ban. "I didn't realize how much harm I was inflicting on myself and those around me by participating in BDSM. Now that it's gone, I feel free to explore healthier forms of intimacy and connection," said Lily, a survivor of BDSM-based abuse.

But the effects of the BDSM ban have gone well beyond personal relationships. In the political arena, countries that were once at odds with each other have come together to celebrate their newfound agreement on BDSM. Russian President Vladimir Putin and US President Joe Biden, who had previously engaged in a tense political standoff, were seen embracing each other at a ceremony commemorating the ban.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I agree with Putin on something, but here we are," commented Biden.

The unprecedented unity has led to a wave of cooperation and innovation in the scientific community as well. Researchers have found that the ban has led to a significant decrease in domestic violence, sexual assault, and other forms of gender-based violence. Furthermore, studies have shown an increase in creativity, empathy, and self-awareness among those who previously engaged in BDSM.

Of course, some groups have expressed disappointment over the ban. The BDSM community, in particular, has stated that their rights and freedoms have been infringed upon. However, the overwhelming majority of people seems to be embracing the new era of peace and understanding.

As a result of the BDSM ban, people all around the world are finding new ways to connect and express themselves in healthy and fulfilling ways. From painting and writing to dancing and meditating, people are discovering the joys of self-discovery and self-expression.

And so, we welcome this new age of peace and understanding, a world without BDSM, where we can truly begin to heal and move forward as a global community.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.