Wibble News Create new article

When Heaven Debates: Supply Side Jesus, INRI Cristo, and Padre Quevedo Discuss Divine Economics

In a world where reality has breached the barriers of Heaven, unexpected debates are bound to happen. Today, The Wibble brings you a once-in-eternity event: Supply Side Jesus debates economics with none other than INRI Cristo and the eminent Padre Quevedo. Buckle up as divinity meets absurdity in a debate that redefines divine intervention.

A Heavily Populated Celestial Debate Stage

Moderator (Archangel Gabriel): “Ladies, gentlemen, saints, and sinners, welcome to Heaven's first-ever divine debate on economics! Our honorable debaters today are Supply Side Jesus, a legendary figure known for his teachings on the miracles of trickle-down economics, INRI Cristo, a modern-day Jesus figure whose motorcycle stunts have redefined prophethood, and the skeptic himself, Padre Quevedo.”

Archangel Gabriel: “Let's start with the opening statements. Supply Side Jesus, you're up.”

Supply Side Jesus: “Thank you, Gabriel. As you all know, the foundation of my economic philosophy is simple: if the wealthy are well taken care of, their excess will trickle down to everyone else. It's like turning water into wine, but better. Imagine a never-ending flow of divine prosperity!”

[The audience mumbles in divine agreement, which sounds a lot like angelic harps tuning.]

INRI Cristo: “That sounds great, but what about those who cannot afford to wait for your trickle-down miracles? In my experience, sometimes you need to chase the bread crumbs on a motorcycle, if you catch my drift.”

Padre Quevedo: “Eso no existe. I’m sorry, but this trickle-down theory doesn’t have a leg to stand on. It’s like trying to prove Saint Anthony’s invisible flock of sheep exists. Economically speaking, of course.”

A Heavenly Viewers’ Gallery

Supply Side Jesus: “Padre Quevedo, I respect your skepticism, but faith is about belief without evidence. If you can believe in multiplying fishes and loaves, why not believe in multiplying wealth through policy?”

Padre Quevedo: “Belief without evidence is faith, but blind faith in faulty economic policy is a different thing altogether. Miracles should have a divine purpose, not line the pockets of the already rich.”

INRI Cristo: “At the end of the day, economics or faith, it's about how we treat the least among us. Whether on Earth or in Heaven, the Kingdom of God should be inclusive. And sometimes that means performing stunts or questioning authority, even if it means risking your celestial driver's license.”

[Laughter echoes like thunder across the heavenly plains, causing a few halos to tilt precariously.]

Archangel Gabriel: “Fascinating points. Let's take a brief heavenly intermission where you can enjoy ambrosia-flavored refreshments and visit the Cloud Nine Lounge. When we return, we'll dive deeper into these divine perspectives with a Q&A from our angelic audience.”

A Celestial Intermission Room

[After a divine coffee break, our heavenly beings reconvene.]

Archangel Gabriel: “Welcome back. Our next segment involves questions from the audience. Let's start with Cherub Timmy, who has a question for Supply Side Jesus.”

Cherub Timmy: “Supply Side Jesus, how do you justify trickle-down economics in a world where many suffer while a few thrive?”

Supply Side Jesus: “Great question, Timmy. It’s all about creating a system where everyone has the opportunity to receive blessings. Sure, it starts with a few, but as they become stewards of wealth, they will invest in the heavenly economy. Much like planting seeds for a bountiful harvest.”

INRI Cristo: “But what if those seeds only grow in the gardens of the wealthy? Shouldn't we ensure the soil of Heaven is fertile for all?”

Padre Quevedo: “It’s like Saint Thomas said: ‘To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.’ But in terms of economic policy, explanations and evidence are crucial. Emotional appeals and blind faith aren’t enough.”

[The crowd murmurs, torn between economic ideals and spiritual truths.]

Archangel Gabriel: “And there you have it, a divine discourse on the celestial economy. Remember, whether you're counting your blessings or your coins, always question and seek the truth. Goodnight from the heavenly debate stage!”

[The stage fades into a golden hue as angelic choirs serenade the departing audience. The camera pans out to capture the grandeur of Heaven, before cutting to a commercial for 'Angel Wipes: Keep Your Halo Gleaming']