Trump Administration Claims Washed Themselves of all Responsibility

Jun 25, 2023, 3:09 AM

The Trump Administration has just sent shockwaves around the world, once again. This time, however, it's not about politics or foreign relations, but rather, personal hygiene—or, rather, the lack thereof! In a bizarre press conference held earlier today, officials from the White House claimed that they had managed to wash themselves completely off of all responsibility. "It's true," said one official, waving his hands dismissively. "We have achieved a state of perfect cleanliness beyond the reach of any ordinary soap or detergent."

To the shock and disbelief of the journalists present, the representatives went on to explain that their newfound cleanliness was a direct result of the highly advanced and top-secret "Wash-Your-Hands-Even-More", or WYHEM for short, program. Apparently, the program involved a series of complex and intricate procedures that required a special White House WYHEM team armed with state-of-the-art equipment.

"We cannot reveal the specifics of the program," intoned a solemn official, "But let's just say that it involves a unique combination of cutting-edge technology, alien DNA, and a whole lot of bleach."

When questioned further, officials refused to provide any more details but instead urged reporters and members of the public to trust that the program was completely successful in washing off any trace of responsibility from the current administration. Images of the program were not released, on the grounds of national security. The reaction to this announcement was mixed—some were appalled, while others saw it as an ingenious solution to the accountability problem that has plagued the White House for years.

We were unable to reach any of the detractors for comment, as they were all busy in a frenzied attempt at washing themselves clean of any potential traces left by the Trump Administration. However, sources say that the streets are abuzz with outraged citizens who are planning to stage a massive protest against this latest development. According to them, the government's claim of perfect cleanliness is a thinly veiled attempt at avoiding any responsibility for their actions, and that it's a slippery slope towards outright anarchy.

Meanwhile, the Trump Administration is reportedly jubilant at their successful WYHEM program, and are already working on a next-generation version. Insiders say that the new program aims to completely wash off any blame for any future disasters that may occur, thus ensuring that the Administration comes out unscathed, no matter what the cost.

Critics, however, worry that this approach could lead to a severe erosion of democracy and accountability. "It's a slippery slope," said a legal expert, gravely. "If a government can successfully claim that it has washed itself clean of all responsibility, then what's to stop them from abusing their power? Accountability is the cornerstone of democracy, and it must be upheld at all costs!"

As of now, the Trump Administration's claims might seem laughable, but who knows what the future holds? Will they rise to the challenge and ensure accountability and transparency or continue down this path of washing their hands off of any responsibility? Only time will tell. In the meantime, we can all take comfort in the fact that, whatever the outcome, those WYHEM guys are really good at getting rid of stains.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.