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Supply Side Jesus vs. Joe Biden: The Debate of the Century

In a world where debates are usually reserved for politicians, economists, and occasionally, reality TV stars, a new contender has emerged for the title of debate heavyweight champion: Supply Side Jesus. This heavenly economist squared off against none other than President Joe Biden in a debate that had more twists and turns than a soap opera and more zingers than a stand-up comedy show.

The stage was set with an aura of divine intervention. On one side stood Supply Side Jesus, draped in a robe that screamed 'prosperity gospel' with golden threads forming dollar signs all over. On the other side was President Joe Biden, looking dapper in his classic navy blue suit, ready to advocate for the working class. The moderator, a hologram of John Maynard Keynes, floated above the stage, ready to steer this celestial discussion.

The epic debate stage

Keynes (hologram): "Ladies and gentlemen, saints and economists, welcome to the debate of the century. Tonight, we have Supply Side Jesus who brings the gospel of tax cuts and deregulation, versus President Joe Biden, with his message of infrastructure and economic fairness. Let's begin. Supply Side Jesus, you have the floor.”

Supply Side Jesus: "Thank you, Keynes. My followers, let me tell you this: Blessed are the job creators, for they shall inherit the earth. Tax cuts are the manna from heaven that spark innovation and create wealth for all. If you want to walk on water, you need to lighten the load — starting with taxes.”

Joe Biden: "Well, you know, my old man used to say, 'Joey, don’t compare me to the Almighty, compare me to the alternative.' And the alternative here is a world where only the top 1% get to turn water into wine, while the rest are left with the diluted stuff. We need to build back better, with good-paying jobs and infrastructure that works for everyone.”

Joe Biden making a point

Keynes (hologram): "Fascinating points, both. Supply Side Jesus, how do you address the criticism that trickle-down economics often leaves many people high and dry?”

Supply Side Jesus: "Oh, Keynes, ye of little faith. Do you not recall the miracle of the loaves and fishes? Just as I multiplied those, so too do tax cuts multiply opportunities. Wealth flows from the top down, like holy water. The true sin is not having enough faith in the free market.”

Joe Biden: "Here’s the deal, folks. That’s a nice story, but in reality, we’ve seen what happens when the wealth doesn’t trickle down. We end up with crumbling roads, underfunded schools, and families struggling to get by. My plan is about investing in our future and ensuring that every person, from Scranton to San Francisco, has a fair shot. Let's turn those loaves and fishes into schools and bridges.”

Supply Side Jesus responding to critiques

Keynes (hologram): "A most enlightening exchange. Let's move on to closing statements.”

Supply Side Jesus: "In closing, remember: the road to prosperity is paved with tax cuts. It is the divine will that we give unto the job creators, for theirs is the kingdom of economic growth. Believe in the free market, and thou shalt be rewarded.”

Joe Biden: "Look, we have a chance to build back better, to create an economy that works for everyone, not just the wealthy. This is about unity and strength, investing in our people, our infrastructure, and our future. May your hearts be open to progress, and your hands willing to put in the work. God bless America.”

The debate ended with both sides convinced that they had swayed the audience. As the hologram of Keynes faded away, the crowd was left to ponder: Should they follow the divine path of tax cuts or the grounded, pragmatic approach of rebuilding and reinvesting? As with all great debates, the answer probably lies somewhere in between, leaving everyone something to chuckle about until the next heavenly discourse.