Mark Zuckerberg to Turn Employees into Lizards and Emulate Human Language with New Suit

Jun 6, 2023, 4:03 PM

Mark Zuckerberg to Turn Employees into Lizards and Emulate Human Language with New Suit

In an unprecedented move, Mark Zuckerberg has announced his plans to turn himself and his family into lizards. The process, which is expected to be completed within the next year, will not affect his control over Meta (formerly known as Facebook). In fact, Zuckerberg has also revealed that he plans to turn his favorite employee into a lizard, ensuring that he still has a direct impact on the company.

When asked about how he plans to interact with humans once he has fully transitioned into a lizard, Zuckerberg revealed that he has developed a new suit that will allow him to emulate human language. The suit, which is equipped with soundboards and other advanced technology, will enable Zuckerberg to speak English fluently despite communicating mostly in lizard dialect.

According to sources close to Zuckerberg, the entrepreneur has been interested in lizards for quite some time now. He reportedly spent hours studying their behavior, trying to uncover the secrets of their remarkable adaptability. It was during this study that he discovered the lizard transformation process, and he became convinced that it was the key to unlocking his full potential.

Despite the shock and confusion that his announcement has caused, Zuckerberg remains fully committed to his goals. He has stated that he will delegate the role of CEO to someone who is not a lizard, but that he will continue to be responsible for making important decisions within the company. He believes that his transformation will give him a unique perspective that will be invaluable to the future of Meta.

As for his favorite employee, whose identity has not been revealed, there is no word yet on how they feel about being turned into a lizard. However, the employee has reportedly agreed to the transformation, believing that it will be a great honor to serve as a lizard under Zuckerberg's leadership.

Critics have been quick to condemn Zuckerberg's plan, calling it dangerous and irresponsible. Some have even suggested that it could be part of a larger scheme to create a lizard army that will overthrow humanity. However, Zuckerberg has dismissed these claims as baseless, stating that his only goal is to reach his full potential as a lizard.

Only time will tell what the future holds for Zuckerberg and the Meta empire. One thing is for certain, though - the world will be forever changed once the lizard transformation is complete. Will we be embracing our new lizard overlords, or will we be forced to fight for our very survival? The answer is unclear, but one thing is certain - it's going to be a wild ride.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.