Homeless man demands to join the top 99% because, why not?

Jun 25, 2023, 2:35 AM

In a rare act of audacity, a homeless man protested outside a Wall Street bank, demanding to be included in the top 99% of the population. The man, whose unique views and creative sign caught the attention of many passersby, caused quite a stir on social media.

The man's sign read: "Dear top 99%, is there room for one more at the table? I'm homeless, but I deserve to be in the top 99% because, why not?"

At first, onlookers were unsure how to react to this unconventional protest, but soon, the surrounding crowd began to cheer and chant, "Let him in! Let him in!"

The man's unique message caught the attention of many, including several news channels that interviewed him on the spot. His reason for this unusual demand was that he felt that he deserved to be counted among this exclusive group. "I understand that not having a home doesn't exactly scream 'top 99%,' but look at me! I'm street smart, quick on my feet, and my cardboard sign game is on point," he exclaimed.

Many people were surprised by his perspective, but the man stood his ground. "I might not have a house, but I consider myself rich in spirit and ingenuity," he explained. "Besides, what's so great about being part of the bottom one percent? That seems like an exclusive club no one wants to join."

As the day progressed, the man attracted more and more supporters, and his cause spread like wildfire on social media. People from all over the world were inspired by his message and shared their own stories of overcoming challenges to make it to the top 99%.

But it wasn't all sunshine and roses. Some criticized the man for using his homelessness as a gimmick to gain attention. Others said that he didn't understand the purpose of the protest and was missing the point entirely.

But the man was not deterred. He continued to approach anyone passing by, telling his story and trying to get them to sign his petition to join the top 99%. "I might be homeless, but I'm not helpless," he declared. "And neither should anyone else be."

As the sun began to set, the man gathered his fellow supporters and began a march to City Hall, shouting chants like "We are the 99%, and so is he!" The crowd grew, and even more people joined in.

Finally, at their destination, City Hall, the man approached the council members and requested to be allowed in the top 99%. To his surprise, they listened patiently and attentively to his proposal.

"You make a compelling argument," one council member conceded. "Perhaps there is something to be said about the creativity and resourcefulness that comes from facing adversity. After all, members of the top 99% aren't just defined by their bank accounts."

The council members ultimately decided that they would review the requirements for being included in the top 99% and take the man's proposition into consideration.

In the following days, the man's protest continued to make headlines, and the world watched with bated breath as his petition made its way through the system.

Although the man's chances of joining the top 99% were slim, he had made a name for himself not only in New York City but around the world. Many people were inspired by his message and saw him as a symbol of hope for the underprivileged community.

As the story drew to a close, the homeless man remained outside the Wall Street bank, his sign, and his hopes, held high. Perhaps, just perhaps, the man's creativity, and resourcefulness would pay off in the end, and he would find himself alongside the top 99%.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.