Exclusive Interview with Mortal Kombat's Giant Talking Wiener: The Sausage Saga

Jun 9, 2023, 5:58 PM

The arcade industry was forever changed when the giant talking wiener stepped into the Mortal Kombat arena. Since then, everyone can't seem to get enough of this meaty character. We were lucky enough to sit down with the sausage himself and delve deep into his thoughts on his overnight success.

"It's been a whirlwind, man. Honestly, I couldn't have predicted this level of fame, and it's only growing," the wiener tells us, adjusting his mustard-stained tie. "I attribute my success to my unique characteristics. It's not every day you see a talking sausage, amirite?"

We nod in agreement, silently wondering why we didn't all choose to be giant talking food products. But as we chat with the wiener, he opens up about the difficulties that come with being a part of a fighting game franchise.

"You know, everyone thinks it's all just fun and games, but it gets pretty tiring after a while, standing still while humans repeatedly punch and kick you," he chuckles. "I just remind myself that I'm an inanimate object with the power of speech and not think about the fact that the hits hurt like hell."

As we wrap up the interview, we can't help but ask the question on everyone's minds: What's next for the beloved Mortal Kombat character?

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think I'll be returning for the next game. They're finally moving on to more realistic characters like cyborg ninjas and creepy clowns," the wiener sighs. "But hey, I'll always be grateful for the opportunity and the paycheck that comes with it."

We say our goodbyes to the charismatic character and leave with a newfound appreciation for the struggles of living food products. But one thing's for sure, Mortal Kombat will never be the same without the giant talking wiener.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.