Elderly Couple Proved to Have the Deadly Gift of Gab

Jun 19, 2023, 4:17 AM

A local jogger has been found dead after being "talked to death" by an elderly couple. The incident occurred on a sunny Sunday afternoon, and the jogger had reportedly stopped to ask for directions when the elderly couple struck up a conversation that lasted several hours.

According to eyewitnesses, the couple's chatter was non-stop, and the jogger was unable to escape their grasp, eventually succumbing to exhaustion and boredom.

The elderly couple, known locally for their friendly personalities and love of chatting, were said to be devastated by the news. "We didn't mean to talk his ear off," said the wife. "We just got a little carried away, as we sometimes do."

The incident has raised eyebrows among experts, who warn of the dangers of talking too much. "This case is a tragic reminder of the deadly gift of gab," said Dr. Chatterbox, a renowned expert in the field of conversation. "Talking too much can be hazardous to your health, and it's important to know when to cut yourself off."

But the tragedy didn't end there. A local news team, eager to report on the unusual incident, also fell victim to the elderly couple's gift of gab. The news team had barely arrived on the scene when they were cornered by the talkative twosome – and they were never seen alive again.

"They were just so friendly, and they seemed genuinely interested in hearing our story," said the cameraman's assistant, who narrowly escaped the couple's grasp. "But then they started talking…and talking…and talking. It was like they were never going to stop."

The incident has sent shockwaves through the community, with citizens wondering how many others have been affected by the couple's deadly gift of gab.

"People need to be aware of this," said one concerned citizen. "These two have been walking around town for years, talking people's ears off. Who knows how many victims there have been?"

Local authorities are urging residents to exercise caution when approaching the elderly couple, and to be prepared to run if necessary. "We don't want to panic anyone," said the police chief. "But we do want people to be aware of the risks."

In the meantime, the community is mourning the loss of the jogger and the news team, and trying to come to terms with the reality that talking too much can be deadly. It's a cautionary tale that will no doubt be talked about for years to come.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.