Chatting in the Dark: An Exclusive Interview with the Grue from Zork

Greetings, readers of The Wibble! Sit down, grab a cuppa and prepare to be enlightened. Or not. Because today we get up close and personal with a being that thrives in the complete and utter absence of light, the Grue from Zork.

First, to the uninitiated, the Grue from Zork is a malevolent entity known to inhabit pitch-black areas and is notorious for its insatiable appetite for adventurers. Oh, and did we mention it's a complete work of fiction? But hey, let's not get too hung up on the small details.

Moving forward in the pitch black of its habitat (armed with an absurdly large torch), we started the interview. 'So Grue, tell us, what made you choose to live in absolute darkness?' The Grue scoffed, 'My choice? It's spit glands or sunshine, sunshine. We were created this way.'

'Spit glands, fascinating! So, how does it feel feasting on a diet of adventurers?' I asked. The Grue's response? A gut-wrenching laugh reverberated through the darkness. 'Slim pickings these days. Adventurers know better than to wander in the dark. And fantasy crossfit gave them a hell of an agility, I tell you.'

'How have you adapted to modern technology?' 'What's to adapt? Your smartphones glow. Thanks for the free midnight snack alert. However, Alexa is a pain; keeps confusing Gordon Ramsay recipes with adventurer profiles.'

And there it was, our enlightening (or not) interview with the Grue, the legendary creature born in the days of text-based adventures and still haunting the nightmares (and dark rooms) of gamers to this day. No one knows what it looks like, where it came from or why it has a spit gland. Yet everyone knows — if there’s darkness… there’s a Grue. A meal in progress.