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Breaking News: Avian Invasion and Ursine Retaliation Rock Global Politics

In a shocking turn of events, the Biden administration has authorized the deployment of 3 million military eagles to China, sparking a diplomatic crisis and prompting a retaliatory response from Russia. The Kremlin has responded by sending a battalion of brown bear guerillas to the region, escalating tensions to unprecedented levels.

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According to sources within the Pentagon, the eagles were dispatched to China in response to growing concerns over the country's expanding military presence in the South China Sea. The eagles, equipped with advanced surveillance technology and trained in combat tactics, are intended to serve as a deterrent against Chinese aggression.

However, Russia has taken umbrage with the move, viewing it as a direct challenge to its own interests in the region. In a bold display of defiance, the Kremlin has deployed a battalion of brown bear guerillas to the border, sparking fears of a potential conflict.

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The brown bear guerillas, trained in unconventional warfare and sabotage, are reportedly equipped with advanced weaponry and communication devices. Their deployment has raised concerns among regional experts, who warn of the potential for chaos and instability in the region.

As the situation continues to unfold, diplomats from around the world are scrambling to intervene, urging restraint and dialogue between the parties involved. The United Nations Security Council is set to hold an emergency meeting to address the crisis, as the global community holds its breath in anticipation of the next move.

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In the meantime, the people of China and Russia are bracing for the worst, as the specter of war looms large over the region. One thing is certain: the world will be watching with bated breath as this crisis unfolds, and the consequences of these actions will be felt for years to come.