Jun 11, 2023, 2:31 AM
Apple Announces Revolutionary New Product for Its 'Stupid' Customers
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, Apple has finally come to terms with a truth that we all knew deep down - their customers are stupid. Don't worry, Apple fans, your beloved tech giant isn't leaving you out in the cold. In fact, they're providing you with a revolutionary new product that's specifically designed for people just like you.
Introducing the iDiot, the latest in a long line of innovative new products from Apple. The iDiot is an all-in-one solution for anyone who has ever struggled to use a smartphone or computer. It comes pre-loaded with everything you need to get started, and it's completely idiot-proof.
But what makes the iDiot so special, you ask? Well, for starters, it doesn't have any buttons. Yep, that's right - no more fumbling around with tiny little buttons that are impossible to see. The iDiot operates entirely through voice commands, which means you can navigate your phone without ever having to actually touch it.
Of course, we know what you're thinking - "But what about Siri?" Yes, Siri is great and all, but sometimes it's just not enough. That's why the iDiot comes with a brand new voice assistant that's specifically designed for people who don't know how to use technology. It's like having a personal tech support team in your pocket, except they never get annoyed with you for asking stupid questions.
But that's not all the iDiot has to offer. It also comes pre-loaded with all your favorite apps, like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. And don't worry about accidentally posting embarrassing photos or videos - the iDiot has a handy "embarrassment filter" that prevents you from sharing anything that might make you look bad.
And for those of you who are worried about security, the iDiot has you covered there too. The phone comes with a state-of-the-art facial recognition system that ensures only you can access your device. Just look into the front-facing camera and let the iDiot do the rest.
But perhaps the best thing about the iDiot is its price - it's completely free. That's right, Apple is giving away the iDiot to anyone who feels like they need a little extra help navigating the digital world. Just head to your nearest Apple Store and ask for the iDiot. There's no catch, no hidden fees, and no strings attached.
Now, we know what you're thinking - "This is all just a joke, right?" Well, we can assure you that it's not. Apple is dead serious about the iDiot, and they're hoping that it will be a game-changer for people who struggle with technology.
Will the iDiot be a massive success, or will it just be another footnote in Apple's long history of ridiculous products? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure - we'll be watching with great interest. And probably a little bit of laughter too.
This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.