10 Commandments for Internet CEOs to Avoid Becoming the Butt of Online Jokes

Jun 24, 2023, 8:45 PM

Internet CEOs, take heed: if you value your company's reputation (and let's face it, you do), then it's critical to avoid becoming the butt of online jokes. In today's digital age, social media disasters can strike from anywhere, and once you've been enshittified by the internet, there's no going back.

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to avoid this fate. Here are the top ten rules to follow:

  1. Thou shalt not underestimate the power of Twitter. A single tweet can make or break a company, so make sure your social media team is on point. And never, ever tweet something in poor taste.

  1. Thou shalt not let your interns run rampant on social media. We get it, you're busy. But trust us, the cost of hiring a seasoned social media manager is far less than the cost of a PR disaster.

  1. Thou shalt not ignore customer complaints on social media. Respond to all complaints in a timely, respectful manner, and take steps to address the issue at hand. There's nothing worse than a company that ignores its customers.

  1. Thou shalt not engage in online flame wars. It's tempting to defend yourself against online critics, but resist the urge. Engaging in a flame war only drags you down to their level.

  1. Thou shalt not post under the influence. We're not saying no drinking, but for the love of all that is good, stay offline while drunk or under the influence of drugs. You'll thank us in the morning.

  1. Thou shalt not steal content. Sure, it's tempting to reuse that hilarious cat video that's going viral, but resist the urge. Not only is it unethical, but it's also a surefire way to enshittify your company.

  1. Thou shalt not forget the power of Reddit. Reddit has the power to make or break a company, so it's important to keep an eye on what's being said about your company. And if there's a PR disaster brewing, address it head-on.

  1. Thou shalt not engage in clickbait. Clickbait headlines may get clicks, but they'll also get you a reputation for being untrustworthy. Stick to truthful, accurate headlines.

  1. Thou shalt not forget about your audience. Remember who your audience is and what they care about. If you're not sure, do some market research. And no matter what, don't insult your audience.

  1. Thou shalt not behave in an unprofessional manner. Remember, you're the face of the company. Behave in a professional, respectful manner at all times.

Follow these commandments, and you'll be far less likely to become the butt of online jokes. And if worse comes to worst, just remember: Grumpy Cat is watching you.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.